I would stay away from the XC90. Reliability is average to below average at best. Unless you have the funds to get a 2009+ and maybe its still average at best, lol. I dont know why, but at one time I actually looked at the XC90. I guess when it first came it out, it was a novelty to look at, being Volvo's first SUV. Other than that, the car itself would spend more time in the shop than in your garage. I read tons of reviews on them and I have never read so many negative reviews on them. The only reason I could see why you have Volvo in the running is safety.
Keeping it in the Infiniti family would be pretty cool imo. But seems like a a lot of money to get one and possibly expensive maintenance on it for a family hauler, lol. Ever considered an Acura MDX? I think thats a good mix of seating, luxury, reliability and sportiness.